


4 times Alec almost said I love you, and the one time that he actually did

by sufferingbisexual



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-25 00:35:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sufferingbisexual/pseuds/sufferingbisexual
Summary: Alec realized he was in love with Magnus. However when will he be able to actually tell him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a few people on twitter talking about Alec and Magnus saying "I love you" and they are way more talented writing than I am, but then I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. Here is hoping that you like it!

The first time was just an ordinary day. Alec was sitting on the couch in Magnus’s loft, with the warlock resting against him. Magnus’s eyes were closed and his breathing was just rhythmic enough to let the shadowhunter know he was asleep. Alec loved moments like this – just the two of them sitting quietly together. With everything going on at the Institute and with Valentine still out there, it was nice to be able to relax with Magnus. The warlock had become his safe space, the place he wanted to be to clear his head, the place he went to feel safe.

Alec’s wrapped his arms tighter around Magnus and was just about to close his eyes when it happened. _Knock. Knock. Knock._

Alec let out a groan louder than intended, when he heard Magnus whisper. “Maybe if we ignore it, they will go away.”

Alec was perfectly okay with that answer, but whoever was on the other side of the door wasn’t. The knocking turned into banging and Alec seriously considered shooting whoever was on the other side with an arrow.

Magnus got up with a sigh and went to the door. Alec immediately missed the warmth of the warlock’s body against his own.

“This better be good.” Magnus said while flinging open the door. Alec had gotten up, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Luke-“ Alec was surprised to see the werewolf here and not with Clary.

“Sorry if I am interrupting, but I need your help.” Luke was looking at Magnus with a sense of urgency and desperation and then back at Alec with hesitation. Alec knew he should probably go, but leaving Magnus’s loft left him with a feeling of emptiness in his stomach.

“I should probably get back to the Instititute.” He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. He noticed the look on Magnus’s face bore a striking resemblance to the sadness Alec felt. It was in that moment that Alec realized there was a reason he never wanted to leave Magnus. His hazel eyes met the deep brown eyes of the warlocks. “I – I’ll call you later.”

No. Now wasn’t the moment to tell Magnus how he felt.

***

The second time was when Magnus had texted Alec that he had something waiting for him. Of course when Alec arrived it was just burgers from the East Village that Alec had been telling Magnus to try. It was a small gesture, but it was one to show how the warlock cared for him.

Eating their burgers, Magnus talked about the fight he had to break up between Raphael and Simon and Alec talked about the demons he had to kill and how the demonic energy had been picking up. Of course they knew a lot of this had to deal with Valentine. Alec just wanted him caught, knowing that he was out there and planning on killing all downworlders- that he wanted to kill Magnus, that filled him with an anger he hadn’t felt before.

After dinner and a few glasses of wine, Alec was on top of Magnus on his bed. Their kisses were sloppy and loud, shirts were somewhere on the floor, and Magnus’s hands were exploring every inch of Alec’s body. Magnus began to kiss down Alec’s neck, stopping at his deflect rune and using his tongue to trace parts of it. Alec couldn’t help but to let out a loud moan, one that caused the warlock to laugh slightly.

“In all of my years I have never heard a better sound than you moaning in my ear, Alexander” Magnus whispered lightly into his ear.

Alec was glad Magnus had resumed to kissing his neck and couldn’t see his face, because his cheeks had turned several shades of red. He began to clumsily unbutton Magnus’s pants, nothing in this moment did he want more than the warlock. The two of them locked eyes for a brief moment, the desire for the other shining through. Magnus took his breath away, and he almost said it.

“I – “He could see the curiosity forming on Magnus’s face, but he couldn’t do it. Not now. So instead he buried his tongue inside the warlock’s mouth.

***

The third time Alec just needed an escape. His mother had just got done yelling at him, when Aldertree once again sidelined him and Jace for a mission.  Aldertree knew that they were the best fighters, but he shut them down when they questioned him.

“I am the head of this Institute. If you have a problem with my decisions I suggest you take them up with the Clave.” And with that he simply waved them out of his office.

Izzy was gone again. Some secret mission she is working on for Aldertree. So he trusted Izzy but not him. Of course he knew that it was his parabati that Aldertree had a problem with, Alec was just catching some of the heat from that.

Jace put his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Sorry buddy, I didn’t mean to drag you into this whole mess with me.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just have to deal with it. But if there is nothing for me to do here, I am going to go.” And with that Alec left the Institute. Honestly, Alec hated being there anymore. It used to feel like home, that was until the situation with Jocelyn happened, now it feels like a constant reminder of what he did.

He knew exactly where he was going, and he was fairly certain Jace knew too. He didn’t care who knew anymore, or what they had to say. Reaching the door, he took a deep breath trying to get his anger and disappointment to dissipate. He didn’t want to bring that energy into Magnus’s place, into his safe place.

Magnus opened the door and smiled when meeting the eyes of the shadowhunter, but then quickly took in his expression. “What’s wrong?”

“If I say everything will you call me overdramatic?” Alec walked into the loft, immediately feeling a sense of calm wash over him.

“Alexander I would never – “Magnus looked at the expression on Alec’s face before continuing. “I mean okay I did one time, but I mean that time you actually deserved it, I mean the spider wasn’t even that big.”

Magnus smiled at him again, “But that’s beside the point. Tell me what happened.”

Alec had already forgotten why he was angry to start with. He stepped towards Magnus’s and put his hands on the warlock’s face pulling him into a kiss. He wanted to kiss him and allow it to say everything that he hadn’t been able to say yet, but he wasn’t sure if he had succeeded.

“Do you think I can stay here tonight?” Alec asked as he pulled away.

“Do you think you even have to ask Alexander?” Magnus gave him a small wink and a smile.

Alec smiled back at the warlock, holding his gaze. “Magnus I – um – I’ll order dinner.”

Alec was certain now more than ever that he was in love with Magnus Bane, but his insecurity and doubt plagued him. What if it wasn’t the right time to say it, what if it was too soon, what if Magnus didn’t say it back? No. He wouldn’t say it yet, maybe if he waited Magnus would say it first.

***

The fourth time Alec was with Magnus at Pandemonium. Alec was out of his element; the night club wasn’t exactly his top choice for a Saturday night with Magnus – it probably wasn’t even on the list. Magnus had been neglecting the nightclub ever since he got with Alec, so tonight they had to go.

Alec took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink, to the left of him two Sealies were making out and to the right of him a vampire was certainly doing something illegal. Alec decided to let it go and took a sip of his drink, the burn from the alcohol still made him flinch but he was beginning to enjoy it.

Magnus was busy taking care of something for a werewolf, so Alec was all alone at the moment, feeling uncomfortably out of place. It wasn’t until his hazel eyes met the gaze of the brown ones that he began to relax. Magnus was across the room, but when their eyes locked Alec didn’t pay attention to anyone else around them. He gave a small smile towards the warlock which was returned with a wink. Alec blushed slightly, what he wouldn’t give to be back at the loft with Magnus, exploring the warlock’s body again.

Lost in thought about Magnus, he hadn’t noticed that someone was standing in front of him.

“You know - you shouldn’t be at a bar by yourself. How about I buy us both drinks?”

Slightly angry that he was interrupted from his thoughts, Alec focused in on who was talking to him and saw the vampire from earlier looking him up and down.

“Actually I’m good. Thanks.” Rolling his eyes, he began searching for Magnus in the crowd. Now he was really ready to get out of here.

“Come on. Just one drink. Then after that I will leave you alone – that is if you even want me to” The vampire began inching closer to Alec, but was quickly pulled away.

“I think you heard his answer loud and clear. Actually – Lincoln I am rather surprised to see you here. From my understanding there are some werewolves hunting you down – and I just got finished talking to one. It would be a shame if one of them were told that you were here.”

Alec took note of the expression on Magnus’s face. It was a mixture of confidence with jealousy. Magnus was jealous someone else was hitting on Alec, that fact made Alec more turned on than it should have.

“Okay Magnus I get it. This one is all yours, no need to threaten me.”

And with that Lincoln was gone just as fast as he had come. Magnus let out a loud sigh as he sat down beside Alec.

“You know maybe coming here wasn’t the greatest idea ever. Especially if I am going to have to see people flirting and staring at you all night.”

Alec couldn’t help but laugh. He was still feeling high from watching Magnus become jealous.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “I am glad you find my frustration amusing.” The warlock smiled at Alec.

“No actually I find your jealousy cute. But don’t worry though- you are the only one in here that I want to be around” Alec placed his hand on Magnus’s shoulder and allowed on of his finders to brush across the warlock’s soft cheek.

“Good because I feel the same way Alexander” Their eyes locked again, and Alec lost his breath for a moment.

“Magnus there is – I have been wanting to – “Alec swallowed hard trying to pluck up the courage, but right when he thought he had found it a fight had erupted and both of them jumped to their feet.

***

The fifth time Alec was at the Institute and Magnus was off somewhere helping Simon and Raphael.

“You know looking at your phone isn’t going to summon a text from Magnus.” Izzy sat down beside her brother.

“I wasn’t waiting. I was - you know just checking the weather.” Alec quickly put his phone back into his pocket.

“Sure.” Izzy wore a sly smile. “But you do know that he’s fine right? Maybe he just hasn’t had a chance to text you back.” She put her hand on her brothers back hoping that to ease some of his worry. Of course, to Alec it didn’t help but he was at least happy that she was trying.

The faint _buzz_ in his pocket caused the shadowhunter to jump slightly. But when he read the message his heart sank just a little.

“It’s from Jace. He wants me to meet him.”

“Go. It will help you if you take your mind off of things and if Clary or I hear from Simon, I promise I will let you know okay. So go.” She gave her brother a quick hung before he got up and went to find his parabati.

Jace though he had a lead on Valentine, however it was a dead end that resulted in Jace and Alec taking on a few of Valentine’s minions. Isabelle had been right though - the fighting did help ease the growing sinking feeling that was growing in his stomach. It had been 8 hours and 12 minutes since he had last heard from Magnus. The longest that they had gone without talking since getting together. In Alec’s head he had pictured every possible horrible scenario as to why Magnus hadn’t responded yet.

They were headed back to the Institute when Alec had realized that Jace had stopped walking.

“Alright what is with you today man? I have been talking to you for the past five minutes and you haven’t said a word.”

“Nothing. We really need to get going, we need to report back to Aldertree. The last thing we need his him on us again.” Alec began to walk forward when Jace grabbed his arm.

“Not until you tell me whatever it is going on with you. You have barely said a word, you keep checking your phone every five minutes, and you have already asked me five times if I had talked to Clary or Simon – Simon, Alec really?”

“I’m just not in the mood to talk- and I though you and Simon were friends now? What’s wrong if I ask you if you have heard from him?” Alec had begun walking now, not caring if his parabati followed.

Laughing Jace began walking in stride with Alec, “Okay now I know something is wrong. Is this about Magnus?”

Alec tried to look as calm as possible. “No -why?”

“Because he’s the only one who gets you acting like this. Seriously buddy, I am sure everything will work out, whatever the problem is.” Jace gave Alec a nod. Alec wasn’t convinced. It had now been 8 hours and 43 minutes and the knot growing in Alec’s stomach formed even tighter.

After returning back to the Institiute and reporting to Aldertree, Alec ran into Izzy again. “Have you heard from Magnus yet?”

Alec let out a loud breath. “Nope.”

Izzy’s face fell slightly, though she quickly tried to turn it into a warm smile when she looked at her brother. Not wanting to cause him anymore reason to worry, but to try and reassure him that everything was okay.

“How about you go to his loft and wait for him. I’ll cover for you and text you if anything comes up or if I hear anything on this end.”

Alec nodded his head, beyond grateful towards Isabelle in that moment. Magnus’s loft always made him feel calmer.

Waiting on the balcony, Alec had begun to wonder if this was the right idea. 9 hours and 56 minutes since he had last heard from Magnus and now he was here on the warlock’s balcony alone with nothing to do but to imagine horrible situations and constantly check his phone.

Alec was just about to give up and head back to the Institute when the balcony doors flew open. Relief washed over Alec the moment he laid eyes on Magnus. He rushed to him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling Magnus into a deep kiss.

They parted slightly, and Magnus smiled at the shadowhunter, “I am not exactly sure what that was for but after the day I had, it was the best thing I could come home to.”

Alec had so many questions, but in that moment he was just glad that Magnus was here and he wanted to take all of that in.

“I love you.”

Alec had whispered it while hugging Magnus and burying his face in the warlock’s neck. Magnus pulled away slightly and placed his hand on Alec’s cheek.

“I love you too Alexander.” Magnus pulled Alec into him. Their lips expressing everything that was just spoken between them.

Alexander Lightwood was in love with Magnus Bane and Magnus Bane was in love with Alexander Lightwood. No matter what war they were currently in, no matter the uncertain future, that is all that matters in this moment.


End file.
